Parchment and Quill is a blog of a young lass who wishes to share her thoughts and experiences to those who may take interest in her day-to-day living.
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Enjoy!
In a matter of hours, I will be bidding 2008 farewell, getting myself ready to welcome 2009 with open arms. I can't believe that 2008 is over just like that. It seemed like it has just begun and all of a sudden, I find myself looking back on the things that happened during the last twelve months.
2008 has been one roller coaster ride of emotions. From sadness to joy to bliss. But let's not dwell on the things that made me frown or cry or feel so depressed. I'd rather take the lessons I've learned through those experiences and keep them. As for the great things that happened, well, people know how it went. So to my dear readers, allow me to post this year-ender blog. After all, I've done this ever since I started blogging two years ago. Who's going to stop me now? Hehe...
What I'm thankful for the year 2008:
Celebrating my birthday with Kuya Rom (went back to the Philippines for a month, April celebrants complete!)
Going to Kota Kinabalu (much needed break from everything)
Finding work in SEAIR InFlight magazine (I love my job so much, I can't believe I'm doing it)
Going to Boracay for work (I love it!)
Monthly "dates" with Ate Det and Jan (bonding times with you are so blog-worthy, hehe)
Get-togethers with the Silan family (thanks for the lunch and dinner)
"Almost" monthly parties with LEP and InFlight (it seems like we never run out of occasions to celebrate)
HSBC Red Mastercard (I can't believe I have my own credit card! Hahaha!)
No more braces (who wouldn't be thankful after 6 years?)
Watching movies in the theater (with my kabarkadas)
Starbucks (what would I ever do without you?)
Chaikofi (my first choice to eat!)
Sale (it's always best to shop during SALE!)
Make-up galore (Since I've started working, I've been saving up for make up and I got myself that!)
Seeing my best friend Chi after more than a year (I missed you so much!)
...and actually so many more..
What I'm looking forward to in the year 2009:
My 23rd birthday
My parents' 33rd anniversary
One year in InFlight
More bonding sessions with friends
Movie dates with the barkada
Traveling
Camwhoring sessions
What people are wishing for me in the coming year (surprisingly, there's only one)
A boyfriend (hahahahaha!)
Tomorrow, it's not just another blog entry...it's a new year!
It is, by far, the best Christmas celebration I have ever had! To think that this celebration isn't over yet. From the noche buena until the end of Christmas day, everything was simply perfect. It really was a celebration to remember. It was more than I have imagined. So here I am, blogging to share with you why I loved Christmas 2008...and it all started on Christmas Eve.
Got a weird, unexpected (yet very nice and sweet) "present" from someone...Nerds candy and Hershey's Milk Chocolate
Got off work after lunch -- time to start the party!
Last minute grocery shopping for the preparations of noche buena
Got Kuya Rom's present at Sony Ericsson Concept Store -- much awaited K770i
Gave out gifts to my "babies" in the condominium: Karl, Mikee and Rachel
Received a Christmas kiss from one of my "babies": Karl
Prepared all the food for noche buena without the help of Mama and Papi -- Arroz a la Valenciana, Beef Morcon, Macaroni Salad and Leche Flan
Attended Christmas Eve mass with the family at San Isidro Church
Video call with Kuya Rom minutes before Christmas day
Succeeded in surprising Mama and Papi in giving my present: An overnight stay at Makati Shangri-la with complementary buffet breakfast
Gave Kuya Miguel a refurbished K800i (new front face, keypad and joystick)
Gave gifts to all my titos and titas in the Francisco family
Gave gifts to my cousins in the Francisco family
Was told I looked more beautiful and sexy (this I can't grasp) than ever
Was thought of as a student still by my ninong
Camwhoring moments with my cousins
Still received a couple of ampaos from my relatives
Got a brand new stuffed toy from Papi and Mama
Got a Whatever bag from Tita Estie and Tito Ding
The Christmas celebration is far from over!
So far, these are the reasons why I loved Christmas 2008!
I realized that it's been almost two weeks since I last posted an entry. As much as I wanted to blog about stuff, there's just no time. Fortunately, at this moment, I got some time to take a breather.
Three days to go and it's Christmas day. The birth of our Lord. And I am so excited about it! At least, I'm one of the fewer people I know who's in the Christmas spirit. A lot of people are down and out during the holiday season and it's sad to hear that the reason why they feel this way is because they don't have money. I'm not saying that I have lots of money that I'm in the mood to celebrate Christmas. But...when exactly did Christmas become so commercialized? When did the holidays become a burder to people?
Growing up in a family who lives by traditions, Christmas means:
Attending and completing the Simbang Gabi or Misa de Gallo;
Attending the Christmas Eve mass;
Cooking Arroz Valenciana for Noche Buena;
Going to Parañaque to celebrate Christmas day with the Franciscos;
Celebrating Christmas with the Fazons on December 30; and, of course
Giving gifts to family and loved ones
Ours is a family who doesn't really care what they receive. We go by the old saying, "it's the thought that counts." We may seem materialistic, what with the Christmas wishlists we put together every year. But in the end, it doesn't really matter. What's important to us is that we're together and that we are living our lives with God and family in our hearts.
It's sad that people see Christmas as that time of year when you have to spend so much on gifts. It's unfortunate that people think of the holidays as just another opportunity to get something from people.
So here's my Christmas message to all of you...
Instead of being a season of being grateful for what God has given us, Christmas is often publicized and celebrated for more materialistic reasons. The meaning of what transpired more than two thousand years ago is lost by many people who fail to understand that these material possessions are only temporary. However, the core values of faith, family, and charity will last for eternity.
While Christmas is certainly a time to exchange gifts with those close to you; take a little extra time to appreciate the family and friends you have around you, and take the opportunity to give some of yourself to those less fortunate. This season is a great time to help those among us who were not blessed with the same opportunities and privileges that we have. Help doesn’t necessarily have to be monetary; volunteer your time. Separate yourself from the crowd of inaction by taking positive actions by helping out in an outreach program or mentoring a kid.
Finally, be thankful for what you have and who you are this Christmas season. Rather than simply taking for granted all that surrounds you, be thankful that you have an education, you have a career; you have food on your table and clothes in your closet, and be thankful that you live with the most wonderful people in the world.
It's been such a long time since I felt this way. Years, I think. So allow me to be giddy until the feeling subsides. It doesn't happen to me always. By the time you finish reading this particular entry, you'd probably be laughing as you try to imagine how I would look like if I did share this story face to face. Also, as much as I would like to share this to the whole world, I'd rather share it with selected people as my officemates can access my blog in Multiply and to their knowledge, there's nobody in SEAIR that makes me feel like a high school girl with a crush that just won't go away.
Since we've moved to our new office, I've been noticing this particular guy. His name is Van. He's the creative manager of our company and our department works closely with them as they are in charge of putting up the airlines' and magazine's websites. I already knew of Van but I've never really noticed him. Until now.
InFlight's office is parallel to Helicon Technology. That's where Van really works. But since some of the people working in Helicon are stationed at our office, Van comes by from time to time to check up on things. So it's not impossible to not see him within the day. And almost always when Van drops by our office, he comes by to our space. He would walk up to my boss, Ms. Mons or simply say "hi" to me. That's how he is. I guess it was then that I started to notice him, really. When I got to see him everyday.
He's not really the obviously handsome guy, I think. He's not like the Brad Pitt or George Clooney type. But he has that appeal. He has white complexion, high bridged nose, and a really cute smile. He's part Spanish, by the way...which somehow, makes it rather easy for me to relate to him since we both speak Spanish from time to time. Sometimes, people would hear us talk and I could only imagine what they must be thinking when they hear us talk. Hehehe.
Surprisingly, it was easy to befriend him. He's a very approachable guy. He's the type who greets you whenever you pass by the hallway. He always has a smile on his face. He's like a kid at heart. I guess that's partly why I started to have a crush on him. Because he's genuinely a fun person to be around.
At times, I would feel giddy. Yeah, this is so high school-ish but it's true. He's got that effect on me that makes me smile whenever he's around. Just like yesterday. I was in my workspace, listening to my MP3 and concentrating on the tasks that need to be accomplished. I didn't realize he was in our office until I stood up to go to the comfort room. When I passed by him, he said, "Marge, ang cute mo naman sa suot mo." I didn't know what else to say but. "Thanks." The moment I got to the ladies' room, I think my smile was from ear to ear. Who wouldn't be like that? He noticed how I looked and got a compliment. While I'm still not very good at taking in compliments from other people, I've learned to say my gratitude when receiving them.
The thing is, I know it's only a crush. And that's all it will ever be. Not that I'm being cynical about it or anything but, you know, you just have that feeling that it's just like that. And I completely accept it. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. I just want to relish these moments. Moments that I can act like I'm the happiest girl in the planet. Hahaha!
Finally, after thirty five minutes of reading blogs here and there, I've finally decided on a topic. Actually, the topic is already months old but who cares? It's my blog anyway and I can post anything I want to.
o O o
If you call me Margie, you are probably anyone who knows me -- family, relative, friend, colleagues. Most probably you are a relative from the Francisco clan. You are also, most likely, anyone from the Loricer batch.
If you call me Marge, you are Mama, Papi, Kuya Rom and Kuya Miguel. You are also probably either one of my superiors -- Ma'am Delza, Ms. Mons, Ms. Joy, Ms. Pam, Ms. Meg, Sir Jocas, Sir Art.
If you call me Maggie, you are an uncle or aunt from the Fazon clan.
If you call me Mags, you are one of my preschool classmates.
If you call me Ate Marge, you are someone I've went to school with who's from a lower batch.
If you call me Ate Maggie, you are either one of my cousins, Tiffany, Amber or Tyra.
If you call me Cuz, you are a cousin from Project 6.
If you call me 'Te, you are my cute neighbor Karl.
If you call me Ms. Marge, you are one of my officemates.
If you call me Ancy, you are one of my college kada -- LG Group.
If you call me Boss Marge, you are someone from TS.
If you call me Bez, you are my best friend Chi.
If you call me Bru, you are Euki.
If you call me Naynay, you are Alla.
If you call me Magzy, you are Mae.
If you call me Kapatid, you are Lesley.
If you call me Sis, you are Juice.
If you call me Madam, you are Emzi.
If you call me Ms. Editor, you are Jan.
If you call me Ate Margie or Ms. Margarita Francisco, you are Tito Oliver.
If you call me Pakner or Marga, you are Tracy.
If you call me Tsong, you are Marvi.
If you call me Prettygalmaggie, you are either Sir Peter or Sir Eric (getting ready to make fun of me).
If you call me Barista Killer, you are Wacky.
o O o
There you have it! The names people would call me...hahaha! If I haven't mentioned it, please leave a comment. Hehehe...
Where do I begin? There is something that I want to share with you. Something that I want you to know. Unfortunately, I find it so hard to put the words into writing. Funny…I have written you letters before and suddenly I am at a loss. No matter what, I will be able to write you this letter. You and I have known each other ever since and I feel so comfortable telling you anything and everything there is to say. This time makes no difference.
Everyday of my life, I have asked for something special to happen to me. I waited day and night for that something to take place…until finally, it did. My dream came true.
I dreamt about someone. I envisioned him as a stranger walking into my life, a gift from a higher power. Love would be a miniscule word for what we would share. He would be an amazing person. He would be someone appearing when I would be at such a low point in my existence, a time I would have thought that the physical and emotional pain brought on by another would never end and would wear away at every fiber of my being until it consumed me and I was no more. During those moments, I would have tried to turn away for fear of the unknown. He would have planted his heels and looks deep in my soul and stayed. He would compromise his life and his goals to help me survive…and I would be eternally indebted to him. Without him…I would not be.
Every night before I sleep, his sweet voice would echo through mine. As I rest my head on my pillow, a smile would seep through my soul, knowing that he, and him alone, would have made me whole.
He would have become a beacon to me. Whenever I would feel as though I have drifted too far into the disparity that would cloud my life, I would look up to find him guiding me to safety. I would have stayed here not because this place is home…but because he is my home. He would be the very air I breathe, the very love I need…my heart, my soul, my everything. The sweetest of my memories would come when I think of him. I would remember the very first day I saw him, I would not believe I was looking at a human being. I would have pinched myself the hardest one could ever do so as to wake myself up from the drunken stupor I would be in. For a moment, I would have believed I was in heaven; I would have even danced to the music the angels would be singing. Upon opening my eyes, I would realize I was not in heaven but that an angel had come down to earth, just for me.
The music of his voice would surpass that of the greatest orchestra belting out its very best composition. His skin would be softer than the finest satin and glows radiantly illuminating like the sun, setting over a serene pool of crystal clear water. His eyes would dance like mermaids in the sunshine, promulgating the exotic beauty from his innermost being. Words alone limit me to explain exactly how I feel about him.
I would say he is the sole comforter to me, the only one who would ever take the pain to understand me. He would dry every tear that would fall down my cheek. Loving him would be the best thing that would have ever happened to me and I would cherish the moments we would have spent together.
Most people will spend their entire lives searching for a perfection that almost never exists. Most people will spend their days looking at each other they encountered with question as to whether or not they have found a reason, a season, or a lifetime. I, on the other hand, have found eternity – because I have found you.
You…this…there is where I am meant to be. You are what my entire life has led up to. You are my best friend, my protector, my mentor…my absolute soulmate.
Soulmates do exist and now I have learned that there is beauty behind all imperfections. It took me years to realize this. Love is not a job, love simply is. Unconditional love is what I offer you and with you, I wish to receive the same. You are my heart, my companion, my partner.
Every night that I dream of heaven, I have gotten used to the idea that they are looking for an angel, one that went missing the day you stepped into my life, the day all my sorrows were washed away and I took a step into the impossible, crossing the margin from natural to supernatural.
It is true when they say, “God makes you meet a few wrong people, before you meet the right one, so you will be able to appreciate and understand their worth.” You are my heart, my companion, my partner. You are my angel and forever will be. The one whose memories I will treasure forever till the day I turn into an angel like you.
Everybody knows this about me: I am a young adult who took up political science and ended up working in a travel magazine as editorial assistant.
Kind of got off-track, you might say. For someone who took up a course that involved political affairs, you'd think that I choose working that actually involved politics. But hey, ever since I started working in the magazine, have you ever heard me complain about my work? In spite of the tiring hours, I have never said anything but good about my job.
Truth is, writing is my passion. And though I've never said it out loud, I've always known that I'd be writing for a living. What I didn't realize was how much I am truly enjoying myself in my line of work.
It was during my stay in Kota Kinabalu that sealed the deal. I wanted to travel and I wanted to write about it. I've always wondered what it would be like. Traveling for a living and writing about it. So far? I'm loving it. Everything's right about the whole thing. You go to a place where you see all the wonderful sites, you take in everything about the destination...then in the end, you get to share all that by writing about your adventure. Apart from my Kota Kinabalu stay, there was something else that pushed me to choose working for a travel magazine rather than a fashion mag. It was an article from Kerygma March 2008 issue. "Travel for Less: Tips on Traveling on a Shoestring Budget."That was an article I loved to read because it was then that I realized...that's what I'm meant to do. To travel and to write. And what's not to love about the whole thing? You research, you inquire; despite the budget, you don't have to sweat about it because you're there to have an experience. Writer Cecilia Lim was absolutely right, "Traveling is not just a luxury." It's all about taking in the beauty of the destination.
And that, my friends, is why I wanted to work in a travel magazine.
I love Kenny Rogers Roasters! It's one of those restaurants I'd go back when I want to eat a roast chicken with sidings. Yes, definitely a must-try. But despite the good food, there's a branch that really made me just want to forget the experience of eat at Kenny's.
Kenny's Roast & Grill. Located at the ground floor of Powerplant Mall in Rockwell, Makati, Kenny's Roast & Grill unveils to customers an interior design more classy and sophisticated compared to it's usual homey ambiance where one goes to line up and give their orders. The place is inviting, I must say. The serene atmosphere you get is something that really sets the mood for an intimate bonding time with your friends or your family. So yes, I guess that's the reason why I was somehow lured to eat there.
Unlike the semi-self service that most Kenny Rogers restos are, this branch is a la carte, which is a good thing, I guess, considering that all you had to do is tell the waiter what you want to eat, wait for the food to be served and enjoy. Alas, the actual experience is nothing like that. Yes, food is still great, still tasty, still delicious (Will elaborate on this later) but the prices are more expensive there (I absolutely miss the set menus). Maybe to some it's just right, but for me, P325 per person is a little over. Of course, this is not just based on food alone.
Speaking of food, the menu is, as always, superb. Other than its signature roasted chicken, Kenny's expanded its product line. Kenny's serves baby back ribs, which is cooked as a delectable dish. I can't say that it's perfect, though. The food would have been enjoyable had it not been for the service from the crew. Oh boy, how do I begin the regrettable incidents at Kenny's? Sorry, harsh as it may be but truth be told, it is absolutely regrettable.
The service is poor. There's no other way of putting it but that. After ordering, it took about 40 minutes before the first dish was served. Imagine -- there you are, anxiously waiting for your food to arrive and yet your waiter doesn't even have the nerve to tell you what's taking so long. Unacceptable. I could see it. There were enough people to wait on you, and though the place was full, I could still say (from my point of view) that waiters could handle it. It's absolutely frustrating to see that orders of the people who came after you are being served just like that while you're still waiting for yours. Preposterous!
Meanwhile, it took about 45 minutes before the waiter could say, "The Javanilla is unavailable." What was the point of it all? It's a sad thing, I tell you. Everything just went downhill.
And I can't imagine the negligence of waiters. Upon serving service water, I just can't understand how they could miss a lipstick mark on my glass! Right there in front of me, was a glass of water with a pink lipstick on the rim. How could they have possibly missed it?!?
I will continue to eat at Kenny Rogers' Roasters because it's still a favorite resto of mine but I will certainly not eat at the Powerplant branch again.
This is not to influence you or anything. I may have written like a food and restaurant critic in this blog but this is merely to share with you the experience I've had in Kenny's Roast & Grill.
I just wanted to share with you all a short story written by Paulo Coelho back in 2007. If you wish to read more other than his books, go to his blog. I'm sure you'll love it.
o O o
Nasrudin was talking to a friend, who asked him:
‘Have you never considered getting married, Mullah?’
‘I have,’ replied Nasrudin. ‘In my youth, I resolved to find the perfect woman. I crossed the desert and reached Damascus, and I met a lovely, very spiritual woman, but she knew nothing of the world. I continued my journey and went to Isfahan; there I met a woman who knew both the spiritual and the material world, but she was not pretty. Then I decided to go to Cairo, where I dined in the house of a beautiful woman, who was both religious and a connoisseur of material reality.’
‘Why didn’t you marry her, then?’
‘Alas, my friend, she was looking for the perfect man.’
o O o
Perfection is an eternal dream we may never find in this lifetime. Yet we still seek for it.
I was browsing through my old blog and one entry has once again caught my attention. It never gets old, I tell you. It still makes me think whenever it comes across my mind.
Oftentimes, we ask for signs.. For us to know if the person is the right one.. But what if there are no signs? Is the 'absence of signs' a sign?
This is a highly unlikely situation. In this blog entry, I have no patience to think twice of what I will write. So be warned. From time to time, you will be reading Tagalog words, phrases, and even sentences. Maybe I'll end up using Tagalog in the whole paragraph. Note that this is not a rant or a complain or anything negative. This is meant to be my expression of a realization I had since last night. Some of you will get it, some will think twice...probably most of you will be lost. One thing's for sure... this is probably the most candid entry you have ever read from me.
Ready? Here goes.
At 22, people have thought that I would be in a relationship. A relationship with someone who I could possibly spend the rest of my life with. Yes, believe it or not, people have the tendency to think ahead for you. Halos lahat ng bagay, pangungunahan ka ng mga tao. Let's face it, this happens to everyone in every part of our lives. Whether it involves your education, your career, your relationship with your family -- everything! But the most talked about, and sometimes most presumptuous, is about your love life. H'wag nang pasikot-sikot pa! Alam naman natin na kahit ayaw mo, napag-uusapan lagi. After all, we can't do anything about it. Man's nature.
I don't know if you know but I've always wanted to live my life in low key. But that never happened. Truth of the matter is that ever since college, I never got to have a low profile life. It's always me on the spotlight. Though some would have loved to have all that attention, I, on the other hand, would have wished that I was invisible. I didn't mind being known to fellow students as the one who wrote the article on this or that. What I didn't appreciate was how people get involved in my personal life. In my relationship with the opposite sex. No, I don't have a boyfriend...haven't had one for years! And yet, people assume I have one because I spend some time with a guy. It's unsettling!
I wish there was a way to satisfy everyone. Alam kong halos lahat ng nakakakilala sa akin, may hinihinala tungkol sa akin at sa isa kong kaibigan. So let me clear this up before this gets blown out of proportion.
There comes a point in your life where you realize that what you thought was in front of you was actually something else. In my case, something I thought was a possibility in the foreseeable future was in truth a highly unlikely situation. Spare me. Hindi ko kailangan ng mga akala.
To those of you who know me,
I know who I am and I know how I feel. And it's disappointing to see that you think I don't know how I feel. I am not in denial. I know that at this point, I am not in love.
I get to spend time with a guy I am comfortable with. Almost every week in fact. But throughout our friendship, the realization of what we have now and in the future is clear. We're never going to be more than friends. He and I can only be what we are now. He is my friend as I am his. We will always have that hanging above our heads.
Honestly, ok. So if I had to choose someone I can fall in love with, I guess he would be the easiest choice. Maybe the most obvious, to other people. So you want to know why I can't and maybe won't fall for him? I will never get past that one little fact.
I remember writing a prayer to God. It was a list of what I'm looking for in "the guy." Up until this very day, that list is right inside the Bible I keep. Not a lot of people know this but one trait I can say that is included is "a guy who can love me for me." No labels, no titles, just me. Not a sibling's friend, or a friend's classmate or a cousin's acquaintance. Me. And that's not what I saw in him.
So you see. It's not going to happen. And I've accepted that.
This "supposed future"...it has ended before it has begun.
I thought that by the end of the day, I'd be sharing a story of what I did today. But I had to blog about this one.
No, I won't be ranting. I won't be complaining one single bit. But this is something I must share. This is going to be short.
It was the most unexpected answer I got from God. If I was waiting for His answer, this was the farthest from what I was anticipating. He answered a prayer I have offered six months ago. Little did I know that His answer would be the one I really needed.
I was reading Boy Meets Girl. It's a book about an honest, romantic and refreshingly biblical look at relationship. Dating with a purpose, to be more accurate. Author Joshua Harris writes about friendship plus possibility, about romance chaperoned by wisdom. It's about finding a lifetime partner in a way that's God-centered and not self-centered.
It's actually the third time I've read it. The thing is...it is just now that I have come to realize what the author was talking about. I was reading the fourth chapter of the book, "Tell Me How, Tell Me Who, Tell Me When!" The chapter speaks of how God guides us to the right thing at the right time.
Just as I closed the book after reading that chapter, I got a message from a friend. It read:
"God doesn't give you the people you want, He gives you the people you NEED. To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you into the person you were meant to be."
It was perfect. I felt it. It was what I needed to know from God.
What this message really meant...let's just say, it's between me and Him.
Yesterday, I had the whole day to myself. Yes, after a rather tiring week, the whole R&R for yours truly was the best thing to do. So after watching television, cooking and eating lunch, I decided to spend the day hanging out at Starbucks-Estrada. Yes, somehow, it seemed like a good idea at the day. And it was. I ran into an old schoolmate-slash-friend, Karen. We were both heading there. She was meeting Kate Laceda (another schoolmate), while I wanted to spend some alone-time in a place I feel at home -- the coffee shop.
Oh yeah...before I forget. There was a little mishap that happened on my way to Starbucks. I got stuck in the middle of the road because the jeepney I was riding got one of its tires trapped in an unforseen manhole. So there I was with a couple more of the passengers, just waiting until our jeep got its tire loose from the manwhole (This is when I realized Karen was riding the jeepney too). Good thing there were two good guys who offered to help and they were able to wiggle the tire out.
This is actually the first time in months that I got to drink Starbucks again. Oh how I missed it! Am I glad to have bought it. Now, since it's the month of November, that actually means Starbucks is already giving away it's 2009 planner after filling up their promo cards. Unlike before, you only need 16 stickers -- 8 for the holiday featured beverages and 8 for the regular beverages. So yes, it will be easier to acquire the planner. Here's the thing. I haven't had one and I doubt if I'll have it now. But who knows? It's been so crazy with work and all, I just might be able to complete all 16. I've just begun with the stickers...so nothing to be excited about yet.
Speaking of planners, I have my eye on a particular planner. The Belle De Jour 2009 Power Planner. Though it may not be my ideal kind of planner-slash-organizer, I'm inclined to get one because it's absolutely fantastic! Yes, for P598, this ringbound organizer is definitely a must-buy for me.
So, all right. After spending much time in Starbucks, I decided to call a friend who's just a few minutes away. Next thing I knew, I was at Nyx's place, hanging out with a couple of my friends -- Euki, TinJan, Nyx, Roselle, Francis and Rbhie. Ah...how great it is to see them after a very long time. It was Nyx's mom's birthday. So when I got there, celebration galore! Although they were having drinks, I couldn't join since I was drinking coffee and who knows what might happen is you mix caffeine and liquor together. It's a good thing, too, since I don't want to go home with my breath smelling of alcohol. My parents would just go ballistic!
After two hours of hanging out with them, I decided to go home. I still had to cook. So I bid everyone farewell and went on my way back to our place.
And that's that.
I wish I could go on further but I'm a couch potato at the moment.
Looking at the time, I realized I should be sleeping right now. Unfortunately, I'm not even close to falling asleep. Somehow, a thought has stuck in my head and I guess it's not going to move out until I blog about it. Although, truth be told, I don't know if I should. Who knows? That person may be reading this blog and I don't know how to react. Then again, who cares, right? This is my blog and I sure can write about anything I want.
As always the thought is caused by the constant watching of romantic movies and reading of timeless tales of love. And every time I finish doing so, I end up asking myself -- was I really ever at that point when I absolutely fell in love? Or was it really just me loving someone?
As you and I both know...there's a fine line between loving and being in love. A fine line that separates what seems to be so similar but in reality, it's absolutely different. Me? I admit. I have fallen in love. Once. Just once. And instead of the way I had hoped it to be -- happy and memorable -- everything turned upside down. The heartbreak. The trauma. The devastation.
Once upon a time, there was a guy who broke my heart. A guy who didn't feel what I felt was there.
Once upon a time, there was a guy.
Fortunately, after that period of heartbreak, I was able to accept the fact that life goes on and so must I. I was able to face those feelings of rejection and anger by being honest to myself, by accepting the reality, most importantly, by achieving closure. I was back.
So to him who caused me this unbelievable pain called heartache, I thank you. Because of you, I've learned to think of myself. To love myself more. I never told you this, but I thank the Lord for allowing me to be hurt by you because it was then that I realized that despite everything, love is worth waiting for.
Time came when someone else came into my life. A friend. A good friend. Not a day goes by that we don't get to talk to one another. We always find time for each other. No matter how early or how late it may be. You know what's great about what we have? It's platonic. Yes. Purely platonic. I realize that the longer we have been friends, the more people around me think that we're meant for each other. That's what they see from their point of view. And I respect that.
To me, I feel like it's just not going to happen. I don't know. I don't want to close the door to the possibility of falling in love again. But to fall in love with you is simple inconceivable. How I wish it can be that easy. I remember people saying, sometimes, love is right in front of you...you just don't realize it. Truth be told, I wish that was true. If only you can simply be the one I'm looking for...then maybe this wouldn't be necessary.
So to him who has been my friend, I don't want to put an end to what I am going to say but I feel that if I was given a chance to choose someone to spend the rest of my life with...I choose you. Yes, I am aware that someone else has claimed your heart. Still, you could be my perfect match. Regardless of the little things we don't agree on, we don't care. We just focus on what's great about each other. Every day is like a day I get to learn something from you. The Lord knows how grateful I am that He has sent me one of the best angels on earth.
There is also that certain someone. Another good friend of mine. Now him...Him, I can say -- he was able to rid me all the pain in the most surprising way. Though I am not yet at that point where I can definitely declare, "I'm in love!" I can say for certain that he holds a special place in my heart...and that may be until forever. Everyone noticed. Ever since he came into my life, I was happier, more stable...different in every good way. Imagine...just by being there, he managed to change me in a way I never thought I could be.
Unlike myself who has yet to find love, he has been in a roller coaster ride of love. Finding it, losing it, finding it again...losing it again. When asked about him, I merely say that we're friends. Though they feel there's something else. How can I convince them that I can only think of him as a friend because of reasons too obvious to mention? It's difficult to convince people how much I care about this certain person without being in love. But I stand firm on it. Even if people say love is staring me right in the eye once again and I have not clinched. Although sometimes, when I think about it, I wonder...is it possible that he would find love in me?
To him who has my friendship, I ask you. Is it possible for me to be better than her? Should there even be a need for me to compare myself with her? If you are the one that God has sent for me, will I ever be able to have what you have given her? Am I really worthy of that love from you? Maybe I'm taking this too personally. Maybe I am being too sensitive. Whether this is me being selfish or not, I believe I deserve love. I cannot help but compare myself to her. If I am meant to be with you as you are to be with me, I pray this. Maybe I am asking too much but I pray to God that though I may not be your first, I will be your last.
I don't get angry easily. Truth be told, I'd much rather keep quiet than confront the person. Some people say I'm too kind, which can be a negative thing at times. And I agree. So to those expecting to read a "nice" or "happy" blog entry, might as well check out other sites because you're not going to get it from this one. At least, for this entry. It's sad, really.I was planning on blogging about a happy thing. Unfortunately, an incident occured and now I've chosen to rant about it.
It was a typical Tuesday at work -- writing articles, editing them; captioning photos, following up on press releases; calling contacts within the metropolis and in the provinces -- when I unexpectedly received an incoming call on my Yahoo! Messenger. It was Jane. Though I didn't want to answer it (because I was working), I didn't want to be rude. So I put my headset on and clicked on the Answer button. The purpose of the call was what I expected it to be. An invitation to meet up with the LG (our clique during the good ol' days). I asked them where and what time. She said we can meet up after work at SM Mall of Asia. I told them that I can pass by but I can't stay long because I still have a lot of things to work on and I'm too tired to go out and "have fun."
6:00PM came and I was leaving the office. No message from the group. I told them I was already on my way to MOA and asked where to meet them. No reply. After 45 minutes of riding the bus from Ayala to MOA, I have arrived. Still nothing. I texted again. "I'm here na. Where do we meet?" I texted them all. Nothing.
After ten minutes strolling around the North Wing building of MOA, I received a message from Tetel, "Ancy, biglang napa-Glorietta. Sunod ka dito."
I was furious! I wanted to call them and shout! I wanted to tell them off and say how inconsiderate they were. But I had to be nice. I replied, "Malabong mangyari. Kung kanina nyo pa ako tinext, eh di sana tumawid lang ako from office. Andito na ako sa MOA, malabo na akong bumalik dyan sa Makati."
I guess they all got the point because they have been apologizing since. "Si Marvi kasi nagpabago ng place eh." The message read. Damn it! I have been holding on to both my Globe and Sun cellphones. I don't understand why NONE of them informed me sooner.
If I wasn't able to restrain myself, I would have turned into a bitch and I would've said, "Ang daming paraan para pagsabihan ako diba? Don't tell me lahat kayo walang load. Kung bakit naman hinintay nyo pa na ako ang nagtext bago kayo sumagot tapos gusto nyo sundan ko kayo dyan?"
If I really lost it, I would have probably cursed all the way. Good thing, I didn't.
So there I was...at SM Mall of Asia with no one to meet. Damn it!
Through the years, we've seen a lot of movies that make our hearts melt, that make us wish that we were feeling what the characters were feeling that time. So here are a few movie love quotes that make me want to fall in love...
"It's the scariest day of the year. Yet only one thing scares me -- that we might never have met." Autumn in New York
“I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One.” City Of Angels
"I would rather be a ghost, drifting by your side, as a condemned soul, than enter heaven without you. Because of your love, I will never be a lonely spirit." Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon
"This kind of certainty comes, but once in a lifetime." Bridges of Madison County
"Someday my is for him to hold me in his arms, in a sea of deep blue, together at last, together as two." Can't Buy Me Love
"If I tell you I love you, can I keep you forever?" Casper
"It doesn't matter if the guy is perfect or the girl is perfect, as long as they are perfect for each other." Good Will Hunting
"Summer romances begin for all kinds of reasons, but when all is said and done, they have one thing in common. They're shooting stars, a spectacular moment of light in the heavens, fleeting glimpse of eternity, and in a flash they're gone." The Notebook
"I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." When Harry Met Sally
"I guarantee there’ll be tough times; I guarantee that at some point, one, or both of us is gonna wanna get out of this thing; But I also guarantee, that if I don’t ask you to be mine, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life... because I know in my heart, that you’re the only one for me." Runaway Bride
"This is true love. Do you think this happens everyday?" Princess Bride
"I've loved you from the moment I first laid eyes on you. What would be more reasonable than to marry you?" Little Women
"I'd rather spend a lifetime with you then to live all the ages of this world alone." Lord of the Rings
"I would rather have three minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special." Steel Magnolias
"Take love, multiply it by infinity and take it to the depths of forever...and you still have only a glimpse of how I feel for you." Meet Joe Black
“Sometimes I wish I had never met you. Because then I could go to sleep at night not knowing there was someone like you out there.” Good Will Hunting
"If you're not willing to sound stupid, you're not worthy of falling in love." A Lot Like Love
"You are what I never knew I always wanted." Fools Rush In
"It's a wonderful thing, as time goes by, to be with someone who looks into your face, when you've gotten old, and still sees what you think you look like." The Bachelor
“I love you without knowing how, why, or even from where.” Patch Adams
"What value will there be in life, if we aren't together?" Becoming Jane
"Life is not the amount of breaths you make, it's the moments that take your breath away." Hitch
"If you can't fall in love with your best friend, then who can you fall in love with?" I Think I Do
"If you die, I'll hold your hand. And the last person you'll see would be me. Because I love you." Dying Young
"You have been trying to tell me that death is not the end...don’t back out on me, now that I finally believe...I love you." Final Fantasy
"I was born to kiss you." Only You
"You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you. That's where I'll be waiting." Hook
“It is at times like this that I know what my purpose is in life. I am here to love you, to hold you in my arms, to protect you. I am here to learn from you and receive your love in return. I am here because there is no other place to be." Message in a Bottle
“If you love someone you say it, you say it right then, out loud. Otherwise the moment just...passes you by.” My Best Friend's Wedding
In just a few weeks, Christmas is here again. So I guess it's about time to start thinking of a wishlist again. I was supposed to do this next week but my friend from high school Meg recently posted her Pink Christmas Wishlist...so that got me thinking of what I want for the yuletide season.
1. Laptop for my workload
As much as I love the "baby" laptop I have now (I have never parted with my Dell Latitude D610), I need to have a laptop for work. I'm already abusing my "baby" with late night shifts and almost full memory. I need a laptop where I can do all my workload and only that. I wish I can have a Dell XPS M1330.
2. Sandals for my trips
I'm crazy about Banana Peel sandals! I just love their designs since I first laid eyes on them when I started working in SEAIR. Oh yes! I definitely want to collect them! Right now, I have my eyes on the Mixberry and Urban Gal designs. Every design of the Sola Collection and the Sleek Chic is just fantastic so I wouldn't mind getting any from those. Just remember: I’m a size 9.
3. Cellphone for my everyday needs
As with any profession, I need to separate my work life from my personal life. Having only one phone to make calls with clients and family at the same time is simply taxing. So maybe by the time I become a regular in SEAIR, I can request the company to provide me with that. Will they let me have a Sony Ericsson K770i?
4. Cosmetics for my growing collection
I love make up! I especially love those which are simply classic. I don't usually buy high end products but if I was asked which one I like the best, I would most definitely say MAC. I love their blush! From the powder blush to the mineralized blush, I just adore them.
5. 2009 planner for my need to organize my schedule
Every year, I always have to have an organizer. Preferably the kind that allows me to write everything there...and by that, I mean a day per page is a must! The Keny Organizer Perforate would suffice. I always like to have the type of organizer where it’s stylish but very practical.
6. Journal for my random thoughts
No matter what happens, no matter where I go, I always -- and I do mean always -- have a small journal with me so I can write down my thoughts...whether I feel sad or happy or inspired, I just need to have that journal to write it in. A notebook from Papemelroti is always a nice one to have.
7. Starbucks mug or tumbler for my coffee cravings
More often than not, I drink coffee (or hot chocolate) when I work. It is a source of my energy. The thing is, I don’t like drinking in a small cup because if I do, I will keep drinking caffeine and that’s not a good thing. I like the mugs in Starbucks because it’s the right size. A tumbler is also a great gift, if I do say so myself. I can always use the tumbler for when I have cold drinks. Of course, I’ll be able to have discount (no matter how small the amount may be) whenever I order from Starbucks.
8. Digital camera for my camwhoring moments
Let’s face it...to have a digicam of my own would be better (even if I already have a Sony Ericsson Cybershot mobile phone). Truth be told, the phone wouldn’t survive if I abuse it with my camwhoring sessions. I have my eye on the Sony Cybershot T77. My favorite color is, of course, green.
9. MP3 player for my music
Never a day goes by that I don’t listen to music. Therefore, I need to have the perfect MP3 for that. I love Creative Zen (4GB is enough to store music I can listen to all day). It’s sleek, it’s chic, it’s simply fantastic. Whoever can give me this is going to make me the happiest person in the world!
10. Ceramic hair curler and straightener for my vanity session
What have I been saying when it comes to my hair, “Guluhin n’yo na buhay ko, wag lang ang buhok ko.” I take pride in being vain with my hair. I take care of it as if I’m supposed to meet someone special so not a strand of hair must be misplaced. The Vidal Sassoon ceramic curler and straightener is definitely something I can use. I wouldn’t use it everyday but of course, where I feel like going the extra mile, that’s just the way to go.
So those are my ten Christmas wishlist. In no particular order, by the way. Yes, I do want to have some rather expensive things. But when I think about it, these things aren’t just going to make me happy then. They would satisfy me until I run out of reasons to use them and I don’t think I will.
Still thinking of what you can buy me for Christmas? Fret not, here are some more suggestions...
Shoes or stilettos from M. Nicole (size 9 please)
Swimsuits from Sun ‘n Sand (my RTW size is small)
Gladiator sandals (just to say I have a pair or two)
Necklace, bracelet or ring (silver is preferable; bead-accented are also nice)
DKNY Women (I’ve been searching for it since I ran out of perfume)
New books released by Visual Print Enterprises (think Jessica Zafra and Bob Ong and Robin Rivera and Manix Abrera)
David Cook’s first album (if there’s already one)
The Nanny Complete DVD Series (since I already have FRIENDS)
Well, for now, that’s all I can think about. Hehehe.
Till my next wishlist.
P.S.
This is an entry to the Christmas Wishlist Online Contest by Manila Freelancer. Check out this site by Melo Villareal.
