Thursday, December 04, 2008

A Letter of Realization

My dearest,

Where do I begin? There is something that I want to share with you. Something that I want you to know. Unfortunately, I find it so hard to put the words into writing. Funny…I have written you letters before and suddenly I am at a loss. No matter what, I will be able to write you this letter. You and I have known each other ever since and I feel so comfortable telling you anything and everything there is to say. This time makes no difference.

Everyday of my life, I have asked for something special to happen to me. I waited day and night for that something to take place…until finally, it did. My dream came true.

I dreamt about someone. I envisioned him as a stranger walking into my life, a gift from a higher power. Love would be a miniscule word for what we would share. He would be an amazing person. He would be someone appearing when I would be at such a low point in my existence, a time I would have thought that the physical and emotional pain brought on by another would never end and would wear away at every fiber of my being until it consumed me and I was no more. During those moments, I would have tried to turn away for fear of the unknown. He would have planted his heels and looks deep in my soul and stayed. He would compromise his life and his goals to help me survive…and I would be eternally indebted to him. Without him…I would not be.

Every night before I sleep, his sweet voice would echo through mine. As I rest my head on my pillow, a smile would seep through my soul, knowing that he, and him alone, would have made me whole.

He would have become a beacon to me. Whenever I would feel as though I have drifted too far into the disparity that would cloud my life, I would look up to find him guiding me to safety. I would have stayed here not because this place is home…but because he is my home.

He would be the very air I breathe, the very love I need…my heart, my soul, my everything. The sweetest of my memories would come when I think of him. I would remember the very first day I saw him, I would not believe I was looking at a human being. I would have pinched myself the hardest one could ever do so as to wake myself up from the drunken stupor I would be in. For a moment, I would have believed I was in heaven; I would have even danced to the music the angels would be singing. Upon opening my eyes, I would realize I was not in heaven but that an angel had come down to earth, just for me.

The music of his voice would surpass that of the greatest orchestra belting out its very best composition. His skin would be softer than the finest satin and glows radiantly illuminating like the sun, setting over a serene pool of crystal clear water. His eyes would dance like mermaids in the sunshine, promulgating the exotic beauty from his innermost being. Words alone limit me to explain exactly how I feel about him.

I would say he is the sole comforter to me, the only one who would ever take the pain to understand me. He would dry every tear that would fall down my cheek. Loving him would be the best thing that would have ever happened to me and I would cherish the moments we would have spent together.

Most people will spend their entire lives searching for a perfection that almost never exists. Most people will spend their days looking at each other they encountered with question as to whether or not they have found a reason, a season, or a lifetime. I, on the other hand, have found eternity – because I have found you.

You…this…there is where I am meant to be. You are what my entire life has led up to. You are my best friend, my protector, my mentor…my absolute soulmate.

Soulmates do exist and now I have learned that there is beauty behind all imperfections. It took me years to realize this. Love is not a job, love simply is. Unconditional love is what I offer you and with you, I wish to receive the same. You are my heart, my companion, my partner.

Every night that I dream of heaven, I have gotten used to the idea that they are looking for an angel, one that went missing the day you stepped into my life, the day all my sorrows were washed away and I took a step into the impossible, crossing the margin from natural to supernatural.

It is true when they say, “God makes you meet a few wrong people, before you meet the right one, so you will be able to appreciate and understand their worth.” You are my heart, my companion, my partner. You are my angel and forever will be. The one whose memories I will treasure forever till the day I turn into an angel like you.

Loving you always,

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