Sunday Night Blogging.

Hi there!

It's 9:15 in the evening on an uneventful Sunday night so I have decided to log in my blog and post something new. Hmm...what am I going to blog about tonight?

Y'know, it's funny sometimes, how you think you're doing everything you want to do and yet there's still a part you're still missing. I seriously miss singing! I realized this a couple of weeks ago when I sang in front of a huge crowd for a gig. I really do miss singing. I remember when it was nearing my birthday earlier this year, one of the 23 things I've wanted to do is to perform in front of an audience. Yeah, I've been singing my heart out. Regardless of the opportunities, I still miss it. I can't believe it -- I had no idea that singing was that huge of a part of my life. It's just surreal sometimes when I get to think about random things and it hits me as if it's something I have to do.

Don't get me wrong, I am so in love with my job! Who wouldn't be having the time of her life writing interesting stories, meeting great people, traveling to beautiful destinations? I love it and I wouldn't want to change direction in my career. There's still so much I want to learn from my work and I wouldn't let go of it until I am ready to. But singing is different. Singing, to me, is one of my creative outlets. I sing whatever I feel like singing, pouring my heart out as if I'm singing it to someone in particular. In a way, I feel like I'm a "celebrity." Egoistic as I may come off saying that, it's just true.

Hoping to sing again soon...

Yesterday was all about me.

Indeed, it was! I have finally acknowledged the realization that I've been pushing myself to the limit the past few weeks, and while it helped me that I was preoccupied with work, it was time to give myself a break and just have fun! And fun, I did get.

At 10:00 in the morning, I told my parents that I would be going out. I swear, I still get surprised by their response whenever I tell them I'm going out on weekends. When I told Mama that I'm going to hang out by myself, she told me, "Buti naman. Lagi ka na lang tutok sa trabaho mo." Thanks, Mama. I know you'd rather I go out with my friends, but I'm very happy you're glad to see me get out on my own and have some fun. Hehehe.

So after having an early lunch (11:30AM to be more precise), I washed up, took a shower, got dressed and headed to the salon. I've been planning since my birthday to get a hair treatment -- and that's exactly what I got when I went to my stylist and had an uber long hair treatment. Karina, owner of Regine's Salon, made sure that my hair would be so much more manageable than what I had. Yes, my locks are once again revitalized! 4 hours of sitting on the chair was sooooo worth it! I love my hair! I remember one of the staff saying, "Miss Marge, you're looking more and more Chinese with your hair like that." Thanks for the compliment! But Karina said the funniest thing ever: "Marge, if this doesn't get you a boyfriend, I don't know what will." Hahahaha! Thank you, Karina, for making me feel I'm the prettiest girl there is!

How do I look now? Well, see for yourself.

All right. Done with the salon. I could have just gone to Greenbelt and hung out in my usual place -- Starbucks. But I opted to get into a cab and go to Bonifacio High Street. It was already 4:30PM at that time when I got there. Didn't really do much there. Went in a couple of stores, checked out some stuff. But in the end, I went to my favorite place (Starbucks, where else?), brought out my book of the day (Leo Tolstoy's The Death of Ivan Ilyich), plugged in my earphones for some music, and ordered a dark cherry mocha frappuccino (current sticker count: 3 out of 17).

Here's the funny part. I was waiting for the barista to give me back my sticker but he ran out of it so they had to get a new roll. So while I was waiting for my promo card and my drink, the barista took the order of the guy next to me. When the barista asked if the guy wanted to avail a promo card, the guy politely declined. But what he said next was flattering. "You can just give my sticker to this lovely lady." I think I blushed at that. He was really nice. Thanks to him, I now have 4 stickers. Haha!

I stayed there until it was 7:00 in the evening, I think. I didn't even bother to buy any food. Hehe. But anyway, I finished the book so I went to take another stroll around Bonifacio High Street. I would have loved to take pictures but I didn't exactly have a camera with me and I didn't really want to use my iPhone as a camera at that time. So after strolling around for another hour, I got in a cab and went home.

I had an amazing "me-time"! Yes, I'm a very happy person (once again). Hehehe...

Funny Moment.

I just had to share this because I find it really funny.

After work, I decided to hang out in Starbucks. It has been quite a while since I last went there to just hang out. Oh yeah, for those of you who don't know yet, the promo for Starbucks Planner 2010 began today. So for those who are eager to collect those stickers, go to the nearest Starbucks and start buying those drinks! You need 17 stickers to be able to redeem the planner.

9 regular drinks + 8 specialty drinks = 1 planner

Ok. Well, that's not really what I wanted to share. Hehehe. But I had to plug it. Anyway, so there I was in Starbucks, alone (as usual), drinking my caffe mocha and eating my honey glazed doughnut when I noticed a guy -- a rather good looking Chinese guy -- was looking at me. So I looked back at him. Next thing I knew, I saw the guy trip and fell. Right there in the middle of Starbucks! Wow!

I feel like I'm such a geisha! Hahahaha!

That's all. I just felt like sharing that one.

From Sulking to Smiling -- to Sulking Again.

I was down.
And then I was happy.
And then I was down again.

I'm sorry -- I just can't seem to keep smiling the whole day through. If anything, I can only smile for a few hours. And I'm sorry if I could only put on a fake smile.

It's just not the same anymore. I've lost the will to smile. I don't exactly know how it happened -- I just did. I have succeeded in putting on the mask to hide from everyone how I really feel. But it's starting to hurt me inside. It's starting to make me want to break down and cry it all out.

For the past week, I have been feeling depressed. I have shared with you the reason why. So when my officemates from LEP said that there's a Halloween costume party scheduled on Friday, I decided to go. I wasn't really planning to, but what the heck, right? Let's face it, I needed to have fun, and spending time with my officemates is a sure way to make me laugh.

So I went. I dressed up as a little pink fairy -- complete with fairy wings and fairy tiara. I called myself "Pink Tinkerbell." It worked. I was partying with my officemates, eating food with them, taking pictures with them -- I was having fun.

And then I had to go home. As soon as I changed back to my regular clothes, I suddenly lost the smile.

Let me just end this post with one thought. Because right now, I just want to lie in my bed and stare into nothingness. If lucky, I may even cry.

It's weird...
when you go from being strangers to being friends.
Then suddenly...
back to being practically strangers again.

It's clear to me now why I'm feeling this way.
I just hope -- I can get back up soon.