Thursday, July 16, 2009
Saturday, July 11, 2009
I guess, in a way, it helps me in my creative process.
Some people say love didn't come to them but it was right in front of their eyes.
Some people wait a lifetime for true love.
I should know, I'm still waiting for my true love.
Is it love or infatuation? That is always my contemplation.
But I started believing the confusion is the first sign of falling in love.
And I've learned that to fall in love is a risk everyone should take.
I admit -- I am afraid.
I am afraid that I will fail to see the one who loves me was standing right in front of me.
I am afraid that he will fail to see that I love him in return.
I am afraid that I am waiting too long to tell him how I feel...because it might be too late then.
Every now and then, I wish it was then instead of now.
So that I can finally say...
When I found you, I felt as if my heart found its destination.
I prayed to God to reveal the person who loves me; He revealed you.
Or maybe I've already met him.
Then I'd be telling him...
You have no idea what you do to me.
And even if you did, you'd probably still do it anyway.
Wherever he is.
I truly believe I'll know.
He may not be the most attractive, he may not say all the right words, but when I see him, I'll know because he's the one that can make you smile, laugh, and cry all at the same time.
Sunday, July 05, 2009
I shouldn't be feeling restless. In fact, I should be very busy. But somehow, I'm not. I guess it's because I'm burned out. After months of nothing but work, I finally felt how exhausted I really am from the work I've put in the magazine. Don't get me wrong, I'm absolutely in love with my job and I wouldn't trade my place with anyone at this point. Unless, of course, that person is the ever-so-wonderful Lea Salonga, then that would be a different story. Hahaha!
The realization just hit me that after a year of working, I have yet to take a vacation. And by vacation, I mean, no worries about work and just plain relaxing. I did plan to use my vacation leave last month but things kept piling up for work that I couldn't possibly go.
So here I am blogging about how tired I am. But then again, I shouldn't really be dwelling on my exhaustion. The real reason why I'm blogging is because I want to make my day productive, to say the least. So that I can go to sleep tonight thinking that I did something worthwhile. Yes, I consider blogging worth my while. It is after all a way for me to vent out whatever it is that bothering me or just share with those who read my blog my emotions.
It's nice to know that I'll always have this blog. Because I can always release whatever is inside me, even if I'm too shy to talk to my family about this or if I'm sad that my best friend is thousands of miles away from me and I can't just go to her.
I've noticed that I haven't really given myself time to relax. Oftentimes, I say I'm going to take a break...only to be followed by me opening my laptop and start working. It's really hard to let go of work. Just last week, I had an impromptu lunch with an old college professor. The first thing he asked me as we were catching up was "Where's your boyfriend?"
And my response was "No time for boyriends, Sir."
I got my share of criticisms about that response. He was, to say the least, appalled. It was as if it was a horrible, tragic news. He kept thinking why after my 23 years of existence I am still without a boyfriend. If I didn't know any better, he's writing a book about why women are single and I'm the subject for that book.
- Too busy with work
- Too choosy with guys
- Very high standards
- I isolate myself
- Just blind to see who's really into me
That's just on top of his head. And my response to those five reasons would be these...
Too busy with work. It's not that I only want to work. But there's just a lot of things going on in the office, I barely have time to think for myself let alone entertain the thought of dating. It's not that I don't want to go out on a date. The reason behind it also is that...no one has asked me out and therefore, no date can be arranged.
Too choosy with guys. Like I've mentioned earlier, no one has asked me out. So how could I choose if there's no one to choose from, right?
Very high standards. I beg to defer. I don't have very high standards. What's wrong with looking for a guy who doesn't smoke? Who goes to church every Sunday? Who is my opposite in terms of personality? That's not too much to ask. I just haven't met anyone who "fits the bill." In Steve Harry's Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, he wrote about how women have the power over men in terms of...he wouldn't hold your hand if you won't let him; he wouldn't kiss you if your won't let him. So why in heaven's name would a woman relinquish that power just so she could "get some"?
I isolate myself. Ok, so I admit -- I'm a home buddy. But I make sure that once a week, I get together with friends just to hang out. But the thing is, there aren't really any guy friends to get together with. As a matter of fact, I only have one guy friend I get together with and he's one of my closest guy friends. As for my other guy friends, well, not much time to hang out with them. If they're not so busy, they're with their girlfriends...so no luck there.
Just blind to see who's really into me. Oh gosh! I assure you...no one's into me. I give you my word. Guys generally see me as "the best friend" material. There has yet to be a guy who can muster up the guts to even ask me out on a date. If there's such a guy, let me know. Hahaha!
Anyway, I better go. I'll continue my random blogging in my next entry.
Saturday, July 04, 2009
There is magic in love, beauty in friendship. Is it not a miracle that in all the wide world, two people might find each other, fall in love, and spend their lives with one another? Sometimes when life treats us unfairly, when love leaves us broken-hearted, we forget that someday our prince will come. But if we open our hearts to the wonder about us, our own fairy tales can come true.
Believing in the magic in everyday life, seeing that our lives can be fairy tales, doesn't mean that the real world is any less there. Bills still need to be paid, daily jobs must be worked. But happiness is something we choose to have, as much as it is something we find, and when you choose to see the wonder in your life, miracles can happen.
In this world of rent, bills, and jobs, two people might - through a series of amazing coincidences - meet. Become friends. Fall in love. Find in each other they kind of quiet solace and passionate love that is the envy of others.
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Softly falling down
each drop a symphony of sound
as it hits the tin roof
It can sound just like a sad song with a slow beat
the kind that makes you daydream
and feel sad and sigh
as you think of what might of been or could be in your life.
Or maybe it is a happy song that brings back sweet memories
tender thoughts and special smiles
thinking of someone who makes your heart beat faster
and your laughter ring with happiness and joy.
Or maybe it is a love song
with sweet and soft lyrics
tender and romantic and sensual
that makes you think of dancing in the rain.
Only you can decide which song
is the one you are hearing
which music soothes your soul
and which song you want to sing along with.
Sometimes, you have to choose a song
and the choosing isn't easy.