Parchment and Quill is a blog of a young lass who wishes to share her thoughts and experiences to those who may take interest in her day-to-day living.
Feel free to read and leave comments.
Enjoy!
As you may have noticed, I'm back to my old blogging habit. It's not as if I wanted to. Most of the time, I find it hard to blog about things. But this is the only thing I could do to let my feelings out, other than talking to the poeple I know.
Until this very day, I'm staying away from them. Until this very day, I don't have the courage to face them, let alone, talk to them. I'm even scared to log in my Yahoo! Messenger. But I'm adjusting to it. This "alone time" that I'm having. This, I believe, is something that I really need. Everything is not yet in place for me...and I still need some time to figure things out on what I'm going to do.
I know one thing is for sure. All I really want to do now is to cry. So I could let everything out. It helps to cry about it. Since I cannot put into words the hurt I have caused myself, I just want to let all these pains out by crying about it. But, of course, I can't cry. Not when my parents are here. Not when my brothers are at the corner of my eye. I still have to keep it all in.
How I wish I could be in that place in my life where I don't have to hide. I wish I could be in that place where I can go out to face everyone and honestly say, "I'm happy."
Dear lie You suck You said you could fix anything Instead I'm fucked You made things even worse for me If I had balls I'd tell you get away from me Guess I'm not smart I let you unnerve me I let you control me Afraid the truth would hurt me When it's you that hurts me more
[Chorus:] Get outta my mouth Get outta my head Get outta my mind Stop puttin' words in my head Get outta my mouth You're nothing but trouble Get outta my life Get out of me Out of me (out of me) Out of me Out of me lie Lie lie lie lie
Dear lie You're dumb You think you've got the best of me You think you won Misread my vulnerability I've got your walls Now get the hell away from me I've learned your art Won't let you unnerve me Won't let you control me The truth will only free me And your lies won't hurt no No more
[Chorus]
Lie lie I've got Your walls Now get the hell away from me I learned your art Won't let you unnerve me Wont' let you control me The truth will only free me And your lies won't hurt no No more
I was alone at home, feeling sleepy. Siesta time. So immediately, I went to my parents' bedroom, lie down, and closed my eyes, thinking that in a matter of seconds, I'll be dreaming of something or maybe even someone. Next thing I knew, I am lying still on the bed, just looking at the ceiling, hearing nothing but the sound of the fan blowing the cool air to my direction. Two hours later, I am still awake.
So instead, I turned my laptop on and downloaded some songs. Now, I'm having a brand new LSS. I have been listening to American Idol's Ramiele Malubay and her version of "Alone." The studio recording is absolutely great. It was just plain great!
Here I go again, blogging before I go to sleep. That seems to be the trend for me nowadays. Blog first, sleep later. So what do I blog about tonight?
You'd think I would immediately know what I would blog about the moment I open my blog. Unfortunately, that's not the case. Every time, my mind is completely blank on what I would post. And every time, I am amazed that I get to post something I never thought I would. William Forrester has taught me well, I have to say.
For those of you who don't know yet, I am an aspiring writer. Yes, until now, I am an aspiring writer. I still cannot say that I've accomplished anything since the only people who have read the things that I've written are my family and friends. Some articles are well-received while some have been criticized, mostly by my Dad. Nonetheless, what they say is not really a hurdle for me to make me stop from writing.
I remember the movie, "Finding Forrester" starring Sean Connery as the reclusive writer, William Forrester. When writing, Forrester said to Jamal Wallace (played by Rob Brown), "No thinking -- that comes later. You must write your first draft with your heart. You rewrite with your head. The first key to writing is...to write, not to think!"
How true.
I believe that, too. Writing comes from the heart. Maybe that's why I am able to produce these entries for my blog. When I think about what I'm supposed to write or what I want to write about, I usually come up with nothing. But then I would stop thinking...and I would end up with something that I really wanted to write about in the first place. Forrester said it all, "Writers write things to give readers something to read."
