More Stills from "The Performance"

They Made Me Sing at Cafe La Carmela.

It's past midnight and I can't go to sleep. Why? Because my mind kept replaying what happened at Cafe La Carmela. It was probably the craziest thing that's happened to me since I turned 23...and that's only 2 weeks ago.

Crazy! I wasn't prepared for something like this. Last month, I blogged about the 23 things I'd like to do when I turn 23. Number 3 was "Sing a great song in front of an audience." While it wasn't how I envisioned it to be, I still did it. I sang. I sang in front of my officemates and in front of other people I don't know while we were having a birthday dinner celebration for Ms. Joy. I told them I didn't want to do it but my officemates still gave my name to the band.

So when I heard them call my name up on stage, my heart was certainly pounding. I could feel it as if it wants to beat out of my chest. The feeling was terrible. There I was up on stage with my mind absolutely blank. Literally. They asked me what I was going to sing, and I kept telling them, "I don't know." They were throwing random song titles, unfortunately, though I know the song, I couldn't remember the lyrics. It happens when I'm being FORCED to perform in front of a live audience without my knowledge. All of a sudden, the keyboardist started playing the melody of "Through the Fire" -- which made it harder for me because he was playing the original version of the song, while I got used to singing Renee Olstead's version of the Chaka Khan song. Before I knew it, lyrics were come out of my lips...

I look in your eyes and I can see

You love so dangerously

But you're not trusting your heart to anyone...

Hooboy! I am so going to kill my officemates for this! My heart was pounding like crazy. I wanted to leave. But I kept singing, making sure I wouldn't sing out of tune, although I'm sure I had some off-key moments. After the song, I immediately stepped down from the stage and went back to my seat. I could still feel my knees trembling from the nerve-wrecking "performance," if I could call it that. Yes, there's a video. My officemate recorded my stint while I was singing up on stage. But rest assured, no one's ever going to see it. Over my dead body!

Do I cross number 3 out of my list? The verdict: No. First of all, it's not what I wanted to sing. Secondly, it wasn't the song I had in mind when I thought about singing in front of people. So yes, there will be a next time to sing in front of an audience. When that will be, I can't tell yet. But for sure, there will be. And by then, I will be ready and I will be singing with the people I want to be there to hear it.

Hopefully, I can finally rest.

Until next time,