A Letter of Realization (Part 2)

Disclaimer:
After work, I have decided to go to the park by myself so I could reflect on some things. Maybe it's really the Valentine season that's getting to me. I am feeling quite emotional. Pardon my being dramatic at this point. I just feel like letting it out.
To the ones who have found their heart's desire, may this letter help you realize the love you have for that someone.
To those who are confused, let this be your strength to work up the courage to say how you really feel.
To those who are still looking or waiting for love, let this letter guide you into finding the one whom you will give your love to.

o O o

Dearest,

Words cannot describe what goes through my mind when I think of you. It makes me wonder how someone can think of one person almost every single second, minute and hour of every day.

You are truly amazing in every way -- the good and the bad. There was a time when I just didn't think it was possible for me to feel like this again. How do you say "thank you" to the person who has just given you the chance to fall in love again? It is something I thought would never touch my heart, my soul and my mind so deeply.

It seems difficult to express my gratitude to you, with whom I have shared cherished moments. "Thank you" seems so small in comparison to the world you have shown me. Even though these were just a few stolen hours, my world is forever changed.

But... I sit here and ask myself how it is possible for two people who care so much about one another find it so hard to just move forward.

I have experienced both love and what I thought was love, and found pain and hurt. The real definition of love... is you. You have given me everything and more. All those times we shared with one another is breathtaking.

My problems, which you have not caused, are but small deteriorating objects that escape my mind when you comfort me. You respect me, you understand me, you help me become a better person.

You brought out the real me... the person who has been shut away from her feelings, worrying too much about others rather than herself, neglecting what means the most. The friendship we share is like no other. You look our for me. Helping me each day with the patience I need with others. If I fall, you are right beside me to lift me up.

Right now, I need you to help me understand where I stand in your life. Sometimes, you leave me confused with your actions. It makes me crazy, when it really should be giving me unconditional happiness. I just need you to tell me what is and what isn't.

I want you to know... regardless of what you feel or don't feel... to me, you will always be the one who took time out of your life to show me how much I have missed. You are the remedy to my pain. You made my heart whole again, mended it with your thoughtfulness, your kindness, your well-being.

We were once strangers... but now, we are part of each other's lives. Thank you for stepping into my life.

Thank you for being the guy who took my breath away so easily.

A Letter to the One I Fell in Love With...

Disclaimer: I guess Valentine's Day is starting to take its toll on me. I have been listening and singing to love songs the whole day. I was wandering around the park by myself and this is what I came up with afterward.


To the one I love,

At this very moment, I am thinking of you. How you are right now, where you are right now, what you are doing right now. Most of all, I think about who is on your mind right now.

Looking back, there are some things in my life that are definitely bound to happen. And whatever I do, I am utterly incapable to control them. Every day of my life, the sun will always rise and set, the tide will come in and go out at all times, the seasons will forever change. Somehow, I feel so contented by this...because there are many other things in life that are so short-lived -- so momentary.

From that very moment we met, I knew that our friendship will develop into something lasting and precious. I believe that God has blessed us. We are two people, fated for everlasting happiness. In truth, you have become the brightest star of my life, bringing me light in this dark world.

Just as a poet needs inspiration to write a masterpiece...
Just as an artist needs a subject for his work of art...
Just as a composer needs a theme to create a timeless melody...
I need you.

Without you, my life would be empty of all inspiration. There will be no work of art for me to gaze at, no person of greatness before me, no timeless melody to listen to. My life will only exist in shades of gray instead of vibrant colors...and I will be less than whole.

In the past, the proper words would have escaped me, and my innermost feelings would have been kept locked away in the depths of my heart. No more...

It is important for me to express to you how much you really mean to me. I wish I could do this in person as I wrap my arms around you and gaze into your eyes. But since miles of emptiness physically separate us, this expression must come in the form of letter.

I must admit, it is difficult for me to be separated from you for so long. Life seems to be full of trials of this type, which tests my inner strength, and more importantly, my devotion and love for you. After all, it is said that true love is boundless and immeasurable and overcomes all forms of adversity. In truth, if it is genuine, it will grow stronger with each assault upon its existence.

My love for you has been assaulted many times, and I am convinced that it is true because the longer I am away from you, the greater is my yearning to be with you again. You are my devoted prince, and I, your princess. I cherish any thought of you, prize any memory of you that rises from the depths of my mind, and live for the day when our physical separation will no longer be.

I have lived for a long time responsible for no one, answering to no one and committed to no one except myself. During this period of my life, I considered the world mine for the taking and truly believed that I was living life to the fullest. Then you came to the picture, and suddenly, I realized that I was deceiving myself.

I am incomplete in need of wholeness. I find that my life is not all that I thought it was. In fact, it is terribly lacking in many things, the foremost being love. Now, through some great fortune, I have found that love and along with it, the one person who can make my life truly complete.

You are that person, and I have somehow fallen hopelessly and undeniably in love with you. To be honest, I never thought I would ever utter those words, but now, they come forth effortlessly and with great sincerity. I'll be forever grateful to you for showing me just how shallow my life was. At last, I have a chance to give it depth and purpose.

I wanted to tell you this in person, but I knew the proper words would escape me. I write this letter instead.

Until then, I remain totally yours in thought and spirit.

A Letter of Letting Go.

I'm posting one of my old letters. I wrote this three years ago. While I was going through some of my old stuff, I found this and I thought I'd post it. Seems like it's just right to post it now. At this time.

This is a letter I will probably never send to you. What is left of my heart is in this letter, and if only it were as easy as to give you this letter, I would.

I cannot recall a more pleasant time since that day I met you. Everything felt so natural; it's hard for me to identify what it is about you that attracts me so. I suppose it might be the combination of your sense of humor, your charming personality and your good looks. Whatever it is, I can sense it. Call it chemistry, or better yet, the possibility that we are on the same wavelength.

There's just so much about you that I see in you. When I met you, as if by a God-sent blessing, I thought I saw a light of understanding. I wasn't like this before. Before you, I lived a peaceful life. I could go and return home and feel no trouble. But now, I feel I am a disturbed mind and soul.

The truth is...we have shared many good times together. I laughed with you and had some unforgettable moments with you. If only I could figure out why we are like this right now. But after much thought, after much contemplation, I've given in. I've resigned to what we really are -- two people with two separate lives. No more, no less.

Everyday, I am waiting for signs, which sometimes leaves me with hopeless expectations. Every move and every action you make, I interpret. I am like a fool watching every moment of you. So, I let you go.

With that, I say my farewell. I am letting you go. Reality has its own effortless course, and I can either embrace its way or struggle endlessly with mine. I choose to embrace it.

For the best.

A Letter of Realization

My dearest,

Where do I begin? There is something that I want to share with you. Something that I want you to know. Unfortunately, I find it so hard to put the words into writing. Funny…I have written you letters before and suddenly I am at a loss. No matter what, I will be able to write you this letter. You and I have known each other ever since and I feel so comfortable telling you anything and everything there is to say. This time makes no difference.

Everyday of my life, I have asked for something special to happen to me. I waited day and night for that something to take place…until finally, it did. My dream came true.

I dreamt about someone. I envisioned him as a stranger walking into my life, a gift from a higher power. Love would be a miniscule word for what we would share. He would be an amazing person. He would be someone appearing when I would be at such a low point in my existence, a time I would have thought that the physical and emotional pain brought on by another would never end and would wear away at every fiber of my being until it consumed me and I was no more. During those moments, I would have tried to turn away for fear of the unknown. He would have planted his heels and looks deep in my soul and stayed. He would compromise his life and his goals to help me survive…and I would be eternally indebted to him. Without him…I would not be.

Every night before I sleep, his sweet voice would echo through mine. As I rest my head on my pillow, a smile would seep through my soul, knowing that he, and him alone, would have made me whole.

He would have become a beacon to me. Whenever I would feel as though I have drifted too far into the disparity that would cloud my life, I would look up to find him guiding me to safety. I would have stayed here not because this place is home…but because he is my home.

He would be the very air I breathe, the very love I need…my heart, my soul, my everything. The sweetest of my memories would come when I think of him. I would remember the very first day I saw him, I would not believe I was looking at a human being. I would have pinched myself the hardest one could ever do so as to wake myself up from the drunken stupor I would be in. For a moment, I would have believed I was in heaven; I would have even danced to the music the angels would be singing. Upon opening my eyes, I would realize I was not in heaven but that an angel had come down to earth, just for me.

The music of his voice would surpass that of the greatest orchestra belting out its very best composition. His skin would be softer than the finest satin and glows radiantly illuminating like the sun, setting over a serene pool of crystal clear water. His eyes would dance like mermaids in the sunshine, promulgating the exotic beauty from his innermost being. Words alone limit me to explain exactly how I feel about him.

I would say he is the sole comforter to me, the only one who would ever take the pain to understand me. He would dry every tear that would fall down my cheek. Loving him would be the best thing that would have ever happened to me and I would cherish the moments we would have spent together.

Most people will spend their entire lives searching for a perfection that almost never exists. Most people will spend their days looking at each other they encountered with question as to whether or not they have found a reason, a season, or a lifetime. I, on the other hand, have found eternity – because I have found you.

You…this…there is where I am meant to be. You are what my entire life has led up to. You are my best friend, my protector, my mentor…my absolute soulmate.

Soulmates do exist and now I have learned that there is beauty behind all imperfections. It took me years to realize this. Love is not a job, love simply is. Unconditional love is what I offer you and with you, I wish to receive the same. You are my heart, my companion, my partner.

Every night that I dream of heaven, I have gotten used to the idea that they are looking for an angel, one that went missing the day you stepped into my life, the day all my sorrows were washed away and I took a step into the impossible, crossing the margin from natural to supernatural.

It is true when they say, “God makes you meet a few wrong people, before you meet the right one, so you will be able to appreciate and understand their worth.” You are my heart, my companion, my partner. You are my angel and forever will be. The one whose memories I will treasure forever till the day I turn into an angel like you.

Loving you always,

Unexpected (A Letter to the One I'm Meant to be with)

Life is so unpredictable. Changes always come along, in big or small ways. I don't know what happened that this sudden change has turned my world upside down. I don't know exactly what it is; it just hit me, but there is something really special about you.

It might be all the things I see on the surface -- the things that everyone notices and admires about you, qualities, capabilities and a wonderful smile obviously connected to a warm and loving heart. These things set you apart from everyone else. But it may also be the big things...the person you really are that I hope to know more someday. And it might also be the little things...the way you walk and all your actions. I receive so much joy just being able to see a smile in your eyes. If I ever figure out the magic that makes you so special, I'd probably find out that it's a combination of all these things. You are a rare combination of so many special things. You are really amazing.

Inside of me there is a place where my sweetest dreams reside, where my highest hopes are kept alive, where my deepest feelings are felt and where my favorite memories are safe and warm. I find that you're on my mind more often than any other thought. Sometimes I bring you there purposely just to make my day brighter. But more often, you surprise me and find your own ways into my thoughts. There are even times when I awaken, I realize that you've been a part of my dreams. Then during the day, when my imagination is free to run, it takes me into your arms and allows me to linger there knowing there's nothing I'd rather do. I know my thoughts are only reflecting the loving hopes of my heart because whenever they wander, they always take me to you.

Only the most special things in my world get to come inside my heart and stay. And now, I realize how deeply my life has been touched by you.


Yours forever,