February Blues is Back.

I have been wanting to blog for the longest time and it is only now that I am getting the chance. And the truth is, it's not exactly how I wanted to start my blogging year. Because at this very moment, I am feeling quite... Well, I don't exactly know how I'm feeling.

I guess it's that time of year. You know, the February blues. There's really something about this month that makes me go, "I want this month to end, let's just skip to March." I don't think I'm the only person who feels like this. I bet there are a few people who's going through the same thing I am. It's just that I choose to express myself through my blog.

Funny how at this point, I feel like there's something I'm missing. Or maybe someone. I don't know. It's all... Well... Distorted.

I've been going through some of my old letters. And I found this. It's not addressed to anyone. But it was written around two years ago and I find myself drawn to it. Maybe by posting it on my blog, I can breathe a little easier.

o O o

When I think about it long and hard, I may be able to admit that I'm starting to miss you. So maybe I should just stop thinking and do something else. But then I remember someone saying that the saddest part of life is keeping one's self busy and pushing one's self to the limit all day -- but at the end of the day, after doing everything to forget, you end up where you are: in the very same position you're trying to escape.

I'm serious when I tell people, I've always wanted to be free. Free to go anywhere, without a care, and just have some fun. Then again, somewhere deep down, I wish to be owned. I hope to be held. I yearn to never be let go of. It is my heart's desire. And I guess it is only now that I could get the chance to let it out because I know I don't have to explain myself to anyone.

But I believe in waiting. As the saying goes, "The value of waiting is a value of a lifetime. If we know how to wait, life shall be easy because God knows what to give us in the right time."

Let me go back to the point of this blog. I miss you. And I'm kind of hating myself for feeling this way. It's true, I miss you. I miss our chance meetings, our usual conversations, our unlikely bonding moments. I miss how you tease me, how you make me laugh, how you give me something to look forward to each day.I miss the days that I just couldn't stop smiling, the times that I would stop what I'm doing to absorb everything. Most of all, I miss the smile that creeps up my cheek when I get to see you.

So let me live for the moment. I hope to see you... Soon.

Farewell, 2010! Hello, 2011!

The clock is ticking and in a few hours, we are welcoming yet another year.

Funny, I didn't realize how fast 2010 passed by. It seemed only yesterday that I am celebrating the New Year with my dear family. Next thing I know, here I am again, waiting for the clock to strike 12 to say hello to 2011.

I am absolutely thankful for the year that was! No doubt about it. 2010 has given me so many experiences to remember. A lot of laughs, a lot of tears, a lot of stress, and a lot of surprises. Everything about the past 12 months, I am very grateful to the Lord. I cannot thank Him enough for letting me go through it all so I can become a better person.

For the year that passed, I am thankful for...
1. Lakbay Norte. Eight destinations in seven days... Need I say more?
2. Monthly Francisco gatherings at Lola's house. Every month is just absolutely fantastic! Thank you, Lola, for cooking the best foods ever!
3. My 24th birthday. While my celebration wasn't a three-part party like last year, I still had a wonderful time celebrating with my loved ones.
4. My second year anniversary at work. When June came, it wasn't just me celebrating another year in the magazine, it was definitely a joyous time because it was also the time I was promoted.
5. Going places. Literally! Whether for work or for leisure, I was happy that I get to travel.
6. Family bonding sessions. No matter how busy we are in our own work, I am so thankful that my family and I always have time for each other.
7. Starbucks GB3. Seriously, I don't think the year would have been the same if the partners aren't there. Thank you for the many treats!
8. Weddings. I've attended weddings of the people I am close to... And it was such an honor to witness the love they've shared with their better halves. Thank you for making me part of your wedding.
9. Christmas with the Francisco clan. Christmas with the Franciscos will forever be great! I always look forward to celebrating the holidays with the whole Francisco clan. This is what it really means to celebrate.
10. New people. This year, I have gained new friends. A lot of new friends. And simply for that, I am absolutely grateful. I thank God for letting me meet these amazing people who have made my life more colorful.

So what's in store for me in 2011? I have absolutely no idea. But here are a couple of things I am looking forward to...
- Kuya Rom and Ate Liza's wedding
- Trip to Batanes
- Lola' 92nd birthday
- My 25th birthday
- My third year anniversary in InFlight magazine
- Mama and Papa's 35th wedding anniversary
- Trip to Australia

2011, I claim you will be a year of my prayers answered! I leave it all to God.

Thank you, 2010! You've been great. To 2011, here's to a beautiful year ahead.

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The truth about 'hanging out'

I woke up about 30 minutes ago for who knows why and unfortunately, I can't go back to sleep. I'm still hoping that after I've done this blog post, I'll be able to go back to sleep.

Hmm... So what can I blog about? My brain is still in a very sleepy condition so bear with me if I'm not making sense in this post. I truly am sorry if at this rate, I am wasting your time with nonsense.

Oh! Ok, now I have a topic. It's not really something I would really want to blog about but hey, it's better than nothing, I guess.

So yesterday, I had an interesting conversation with a good friend of mine. Interesting because it's a conversation that had me trying to convince her that I know what I'm saying and I know what I'm actually doing.

She asked me: "What's the difference between hanging out and going on a date?"

I admit, it was a little hard to answer the question only because I didn't really know how to explain it properly. But whenever I get asked if I'm dating somebody, I always say no. It's true, I'm not dating anybody. I haven't been dating for the past two years. BUT -- yes, there is a but -- I do hang out.

People these days, they think that just because a guy and a girl go out, it automatically means they're dating. Well, folks, sorry to burst your bubble. But there is a big difference between "hanging out" and "dating."

When my friends ask me if I'm dating this guy, I immediately say no. Because we're really not dating. We're simply hanging out. We hang out because our meet ups are usually spontaneous, unstructured, even. We invite each other to doing things that don't necessarily involve romantic feelings whatsoever. That, in my opinion, is hanging out.

A date, on the other, well -- call me old fashioned, but for me, a date begins with a formal invitation, like "Would you like to go out on a date with me?" It's planned, it's structured.

When dating, it usually means that two people have this ongoing, exclusive relationship. Hanging out is more ambiguous; it doesn't connote exclusivity.

I say I hang out with a guy because we share time together. I'm not saying that when I'm hanging out with someone, it won't lead to dating. I'm just saying that at this point, this is what we do... We hang out. I mean, who knows, maybe in the future, after spending much time together, an attraction builds up between two people and ultimately, that will lead to dating.

What can I say, I'm really a very old fashioned person. Is there anything else I should be explaining?

That, my friends, is the truth about "hanging out."

Ok, time to hit the sack again.

Early bird random blogging.

I have been awake since 4 o'clock in the morning and even though I should just go back to sleep and wake up at 6am, I opted to turn on my computer and log in my blog.

November. Yeah, it's November already. I'm still in a bit of shock at how fast time goes by. In just 53 days, Christmas is already here and yes, I am already thinking of my Christmas wish list. And I will be posting them some time soon. Hehe.

The past month has been interesting, to say the least. It's been a good month, actually. Despite being the very busy person that I am, it's amazing that I have made time to go out and just hang around some places. No, unfortunately, I wasn't able to go to out-of-town trips since I've a lot of things to do in Manila but I still had my moments of going out and just relax.

I'm very excited about this month. Really, I am. I'm excited that I'm seeing my friends again and go to dinner with them to catch up on stuff. I'm excited that I'm going bowling with my other friends soon. I'm excited to attend to my friends' wedding in less than three weeks. And most of all, I'm so excited to go to that out-of-town trip that I have been hoping for since my birthday!

I was looking back at my blog on my to do list when I turn 24 and it's just hilarious! I look back and say to myself, "What the hell was I thinking when I did this?" Hahaha! Here's an update...

1. Go on a trip on my own --> doing it on November 27-28

2. Organize my closet --> I've been cleaning my closet every week

3. Buy one gadget I really love --> Not yet, but SOON!

4. Watch a play --> Cats is love... Hehehehe

5. Go to a spa --> Aaack! No, I haven't done this...

6. Start writing a book --> Maybe not yet the right time. I don't even have a clue how to begin

7. Reconnect with a childhood friend --> I have! But that needs a repeat...

8. Go on a weekend retreat --> By end of the month...

9. Swap books with a friend --> Yep yep yep

10. Start a travel blog --> I couldn't find the time to start this one... Tsk tsk... Or maybe I shouldn't start a travel blog... Maybe just another blog... Hmmm....

11. Buy a friend coffee --> Done this too... Hehehe

12. Buy a new pair of shoes --> This year, I bought 3 pairs of shoes since January

13. Try out a new cuisine --> Done. But where to, next?

14. Record an album --> Hahahaha! I can't believe I actually did this... check out my acoustic sessions 1 and 2

15. Ice skate at the SM Mall of Asia ice skating rink --> I live like 5 minutes away from MOA and yeet I haven't done this. That is bad.

16. Go bowling --> Doing this in two weeks

17. Go out of town with friends --> Haven't done this... Who wants to go out of town? Hehe

18. Wear my knee-high boots --> Haha! Not in season...

19. Go somewhere abroad --> Was supposed to but had to postpone till next year... Oh well...

20. Take random pictures everyday --> Ok, I wasn't able to do this everyday, but I do take random pictures

21. Have a flatter tummy --> Tsk tsk, I think I got bigger. Must have flatter tummy by January!

22. Hug a friend --> Who else wants a hug from me? Hahaha!

23. Go on a photo shoot and be the model --> Hehe, as much as I'd like to do this, I haven't...

24. Go on a date --> Seriously, what was I thinking? A date? I haven't done so in 2 years...

Well, I should be getting ready. Till my next blog entry... Soon, I promise.