Missing You.

When I think about it long and hard, I may be able to admit that I'm starting to miss you.

So maybe I should just stop thinking and do something else.

But then I remember someone saying that the saddest part of life is keeping one's self busy and pushing one's self to the limit all day -- but at the end of the day, after doing everything to forget, you end up where you are: in the very same position you're trying to escape.

I'm serious when I tell people, I've always wanted to be free. Free to go anywhere, without a care, and just have some fun. Then again, somewhere deep down, I wish to be owned. I hope to be held. I yearn to never be let go of. It is my heart's desire. And I guess it is only now that I could get the chance to let it out because I know I don't have to explain myself to anyone.

But I believe in waiting. As the saying goes, "The value of waiting is a value of a lifetime. If we know how to wait, life shall be easy because God knows what to give us in the right time."

Let me go back to the point of this blog. I miss you. And I'm kind of hating myself for feeling this way.

It's true, I miss you.

I miss our chance meetings, our usual conversations, our unlikely bonding moments.

I miss how you tease me, how you make me laugh, how you give me something to look forward to each day.

I miss the days that I just couldn't stop smiling, the times that I would stop what I'm doing to absorb everything.

Most of all, I miss the smile that creeps up my cheek when I get to see you.

So let me live for the moment.

I hope to see you...soon.

October 18, 2006.

I was browsing through my old journals and I stumbled upon this particular entry I wrote three years ago. I didn't actually write it. It's part of a song, I believe, by Juan Carlos Calderon.

It just struck me, considering I wasn't in love with anyone at that time. I guess I just really like the song that time...

Como una promesa eres tu...

Como una sonrisa eres tu...

Todo mi esperanza eres tu...

Te quiero

To translate...

You are like a promise

You are like a smile

You are all my hope

I love you...

Playing "Dr. Margie"

It's really amazing how people find it so hard to believe that I have yet to be in a relationship.

Last night, I was chatting with a couple of friends. Three, to be exact. Two guys, one girl. The funny thing was that -- they all had "problems" in their own relationships and they all came to me for advice. No, these people don't know each other. It just so happens that these three are good friends of mine who have been involved with their significant others for years.

I always wonder why they come to me for advice. When I get in a relationship and I'd have a problem, shouldn't I be the one to go to them and ask for their advice? They're the ones who have gone through it. But alas, there I was, chatting away, listening to what they have to say, and waiting for them to let me know if they needed what I wanted to say.

Surprisingly, they welcomed my advice with open arms. I quote my guy friend, "Ibang klase ka talaga, Marge! NBSB pero ang daming alam sa pag-ibig!" If he was right in front of me, I'd probably have slapped him. Haha! Kalokohan talaga! Yes, I've been single since forever. But just because I've never been in a relationship doesn't mean I don't have my shares of kilig and sawi. Hehehehe.

So yeah, I played "therapist" for a couple of hours. Or maybe because I was in such an emo mood that I've decided to let it out by playing "Dr. Margie."

Well, I gotta go for now and prepare for Mass.

Be right back.

Sharing.

As I sit here in front of my PC and keeping myself busy, I received a text message from a friend of mine. It goes like this:

Bakit masarap magmahal ang mga taong komedyante?

1. Hirit pa lang nila, panalo na!

2. Lagi kayong masaya kahit problemado na.

3. Hindi ka talaga tatanda kakatawa.

4. Magaling magdala ng damit kahit sablay na.

5. Kapag naging seryoso, talagang tatamaan ka!

6. Sigurado malalahian ka ng talino -- hirap mag-isip para lang magpatawa.

And lastly...

7. Kahit sinaktan mo na, feeling mo ok lang sa kanya...kaya hindi mo alam, halos mamatay na siya kung paano niya ilalabas iyak niya.

Completely disregarding the last part of that message, I have to say, I absolutely agree. It's true.

If you ask my friends, one of the things they will tell you about me is that it's not easy to make me laugh. So it's important for me to meet a guy who has that kind of sense of humor that can absolutely break me.

Have I found a guy like that? I've met two. In all my years of living, I've met only two guys who have the "ability" to crack me up with his sense of humor. Who those two guys may be, I will not say.

Nothing really much to blog about. I just felt like sharing that particular message.